


I’m Sorry

by Cat58



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Explicit Language, F/F, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Hurt, Implied Sexual Content, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-30
Updated: 2018-04-30
Packaged: 2019-04-30 10:07:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14494620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cat58/pseuds/Cat58
Summary: Yellow finds out something about Blue, and she’s still trying to come to terms with it.





	I’m Sorry

    "Sometimes I wonder, Blue if you could still hear me if I talk to you,"

  I whispered. It had been something I'd wanted to ask ever since... ever since I failed to help her when she truly needed me...

   I didn't think that she could hear me, because she wasn't... she joined Pink, she wanted to though, her own free will. I didn't know until I got the alert that day, an alert that sounded when something awful happens.

  This is beyond awful though, Blue had taken her life.

  
  I wish I could have talked her out of it, I wish I could have done something because the guilt I feel is burning. I want it to stop, I want it to simply go away and never return. But alas it will not, and as Blue did to Pink I visit her shards daily.

  I try to talk to her, it must sound insane to my Pearl but I want her to know how much I ,truly, love her.

  
  It brings me back to a much simpler time, one with less sorrow as the days seem to be like now. I miss thoughts times when Blue would come to my quarters just to tell me how much she loved me. The days that I'd pull her close to me, soaking up her warmth she always seemed to radiate, I'd pull her chin up because she just never seemed to be looking me straight in the eyes, then I'd softly put my lips on hers. This continued for a few moments until it got deeper and more meaningful, I suppose, because by now her arms were wrapped securely around my waist as if she were keeping me from leaving her.

  
  I'd never leave her though.

  
  Not even once.

  
  After more scandalous events occurred, we'd just lay in each others company, watching the beautiful colors of the cosmos.  
I loved it.  
I loved her.  
I love her.  
  I didn't always feel this way though, it was no secret the bitter feelings I had at first.  
  The betrayal I felt had no bounds.  
I broke all the gems around me as if their death would bring back Blue, but nothing would.  
  Then after I calmed down, and dismissed my Pearl. I walked to her quarters, the one in which she shattered herself. I let out a couple of large tears fall from my eyes and run down my cheeks.

  
  "Fuck...why did you leave me. Why did you do this to me," I sat on my knees, placing my head on the floor where the shards were. My thoughts raced as I thought of her, the way she’d smile at me, the way she talked. Everything about her was perfect.

  I got up from my knees, and picked up the shards. I tried pushing them together as if, if I tried hard enough I could mend her gem and see her again.

“Blue you...lied to me…”

“ _Yellow, stop! I can’t believe you think that! I’d never leave you!” Blue had said grabbing my face._  
“Blue… I don’t… I suppose I got nervous…”  
She pressed her lips to mine. I, Of course, kissed back.  
“I would never leave you. I love you.” She said firmly.

I wiped tears from my eyes, then looked back at Blues broken gem. In it I could see my reflection, a reflection of another gem as broken as the one in my hand.

“ _Hey, Blue don’t cry! Hey no it’s ok… I will find the Quartz who did this,” I had promised.  
“I could have been their… maybe… if I was then… then… Pink wouldn’t have…” I squeezed her again, pulling her close to me. I kissed her temple. She got closer to me, closing the distance between us. Leaning in to me as if, if I wasn’t there then she’d fall._

I set down Blues shards carefully, stood fully upright, then walked to the door of the room hands folded. I looked back at the room that I’d never go in again.

 _“Madam… Madam Yellow Diamond we sent out the alarm because the Luminous Blue Diamond has been found in her quarters… in… shards.” The gem gulped, scared of what I’d do._  
“ _Who did this? Did you not watch for rebels? Do we not have good security?”_  
“My...my diamond it appears, Blue Diamond shattered herself.”  
my hand balled up to a fist as I slammed in on the table.  
“She...she what?” I was stunned, and I staggered back a bit. I felt an awful feeling in my stomach. Then, in some sort of broken hearted induced rage I shattered all 20 gems in the room with me except my pearl. My pearl looked at me, shocked, I didn’t know what to tell her. In fact, I didn’t have to explain myself, I simply dismissed her and went into Blues room. I found her shards laying on the floor, with a note. Which read:  
‘Yellow I'm sorry that it had to come to this. I didn’t mean for it to, but I couldn’t take the guilt. I was going to tell you what I wanted to do this but I… I didn’t want to live anymore Yellow. I knew you’d talk me out of it, you’re so good with words. I wanted to tell you I felt like this because I knew you’d try to help me but I couldn’t do it, I wasn’t strong enough. Be strong for me though, you have to. With me, Pink, and White gone, you have to step up. I’m sorry Yellow. I’m so so sorry. Just know… that I love you very much’  
                                  Signed, Blue

I shut the door.

**Author's Note:**

> Ok. Ok! This was my attempt at happiness, originally it was going to be a bit more...spicy... if you know what I mean... but I ended up with this. Any thoughts or criticisms are welcome!


End file.
